Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Every now and then, you need to take a few moments to have a laugh. I received this via email today and thought I'd share. (My favorites are Colonel Sanders, Colin Powell and Al Gore) Enjoy!

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure – right from Day One! – that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me…

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on THIS side of the road before it goes after the problem on the OTHER SIDE of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his CURRENT problems before adding NEW problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…

ANDERSON COOPER – CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information…

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra… #@&&^(C% …reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did NOT cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of 'chicken'?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

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Dalmatian Yawns On Command

I'm not sure why you would teach your dog to do this, but it's pretty cool. Enjoy!


Funny Video of the Day - Today's Best Country Music Videos

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Kids Say The Cutest Things

Last Friday, I was at a promotional event with my company at one of the Georgia State Visitors centers. One of the things we do at these events is hand out free popcorn. While handing out free popcorn, a grandmother came up to us with her two grandchildren.

We gave them both boxes of popcorn, and they were thrilled. But, I noticed that the little boy (2 or 3 years old) had a quizzical look on his face. He was looking around behind us and all over the center. I wasn't sure what he was looking for, so I asked him if I could help him find something. Here is what he said in a long slow little kids drawl:

"I want to know...Where I can go...To have my legs stretched."

I looked at him for a second with a puzzled look on my face, and then he clarified the situation for me:

"Because my grandmother said we were stopping here to stretch our legs..."

I died laughing. It was so funny and when his grandmother told him that "stretch our legs" just meant walking around, he had this sad look on his face and he said, "Ahh, I wanted to have my legs stretched so I'd be taller."

Kids really do say the cutest things...

Make it a great day!

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MSNBC Reporter, Mika Brzezinski Refuses to Report on Paris Hilton

I featured this story today on FunnyVideooftheDay.net as well, but it deserves to be here even more than there. Her point, and I couldn't agree with her more, is that Paris Hilton being released from jail should not be the lead story in a legitimate newscast considering everything else that is going on in the world right now. I respect and admire her for taking a stand. Enjoy!


Funny Video of the Day - Today's Best Country Music Videos

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Flea Market Montgomery

This one is for all my friends from Montgomery, Alabama. I found this video online tonight and had to share it. Hope it gives you a good laugh as you start your Memorial Day weekend. Make it a great one!

A Little Humor For Your Monday Morning

A little humor for you to start off your Monday morning... Enjoy!


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Words of Wisdom

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. A day without sunshine is like... Night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

14. How many of you believe in psycho kinesis? Raise my hand.

15. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

25. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

26. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

27. Life isn't like a box of chocolates... it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your bum tomorrow.

The Evolution of Dance

Here's a little entertainment for you on this Friday. If you haven't seen this before, you're in for a treat. It's six minutes that you'll really enjoy.

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Be Careful When Playing The Lottery

For all of you who play the lottery and hope to one day be able to quit your job....

Make sure to double and triple check your numbers before you do something you're going to regret...

Good luck today.

Make it a great one!

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Bare Necessities Animal Video

Okay, this one is for all you pet owners out there. It's about five minutes long. It's a lot of cute, funny, sweet and weird pictures of animals set to the song Bare Necessities. I think you'll like it, and if you have kids, they'll love it.

Make it a great day and enjoy the video!

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